Streaming on Amazon Prime March 21
THE PLOT:
Ex-UFC fighter Dalton (Jake Gyllenhaal) has fallen on hard times. He now makes ends meet fighting in back room bare knuckle cages, living in his car – having nowhere to go but up.
When Frankie (Jessica Williams), the owner of a Florida bar called Road House asks Dalton for help, he isn’t interested. But when a split-second decision and a bit of luck saves his life, he decides that maybe he does have a purpose.
Heading to Florida he arrives to Road House, an open-air bar with lots of coastal breezes and plenty of violence. As he gets to know the locals of Glass Key Island, he discovers the good people – and bad ones, too.
As local bullies push him to his breaking point, Dalton is forced to confront the dark places in his soul as he tries to control the violent streak that ruined his life.
KENT’S TAKE:
“Road House” is a remake of the Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch 1989 classic action film, but this remake falls short of its predecessor.
Dalton is not famous, he infamous and that reputation follows him like stink on poop. His laid-back demeanor hides the deadly and skilled predator underneath.
Like many of his film predecessors such as Clint Eastwood’s “The Man With No Name”, Charles Bronson’s Paul Kersey, Chuck Norris’ John T. Booker, Tom Laughlin’s Billy Jack and Steven Segal’s Casey Ryback, all deadly heroes who are pushed into service to defend what’s right and just.
What made the original “Road House” so distinctive is exactly what this remake is missing. Swayze’s 1989 Dalton uses spirituality to keep his violence at bay, coupled with an intelligence and wry humor to disarm without always having to resort to violence. Surrounding him was a loveable cast of regular people who were willing to back Dalton up for what’s right.
Gyllenhaal’s Dalton is similar but lacks some vital elements that will endear audiences to him. Although Dalton is friendly to the good people of Glass Key, he has no spirituality to him. Instead, he is portrayed as a victim – a victim of his own lack of control. This Dalton seems to almost be punishing himself for his sins by confronting every dangerous event. He has the wry humor down pat, but Dalton’s head and heart are not shown enough in the film to balance the character. In fact, when Dalton is pushed over the emotional edge, he becomes both scary and creepy displaying psychopathic tendencies.
Much like the original film this plot is a straightforward as they come. This narrative heads exactly where one expects as our hero slowly punches, kicks, and throws his way toward the inevitable confrontation with the ultimate Baddie – Knox – played by real UFC Champion Conor McGregor.
Although the Jeff Healey Band doesn’t headline this remake, the distinctive music does offer a fun background for many of the fights and transitional scenes. While the cast isn’t given anything to stretch their acting chops, they all fill their roles admirably.
“Road House” is a remake of a storied action film, but if you’re going to update a classic, one must create a film at least as good as the original – and this film falls several punches short of a knockout!
LYNN'S TAKE:
I was bored silly by Amazon’s unnecessary, ultra-violent streaming remake of “Road House,” a pale imitation of the original 1989 cheese-fest that starred the chiseled Patrick Swayze rocking a mullet as James Dalton, a black belt in karate and a Ph.D. in philosophy.
Granted, I am not the demo. This re-imagining is a macho man’s movie.
In “Southpaw” (2015) fighting mode, Oscar-nominated Jake Gyllenhaal is a campy, corny Dalton for the 21st century, a troubled soul who speaks with his fast fists. With the first name of Elwood, he’s jacked as an ex-UFC mixed martial arts fighter who pummels many a tough guy.
But sadly, Gyllenhaal is flat, nowhere near as magnetic as the late great Swayze, who knew how to elevate his roaming ‘cooler’ in that rowdy ‘80s B-movie with his off-the-charts charisma, a world-class side-eye, and a Zen approach.
Devoid of any charm – where is Sam Elliott when you desperately need him? – this new version is mostly wall-to-wall vicious blood-spurting fighting where people are intent on maiming and breaking bones.
It’s a whole lot of ugly. (Not that Swayze didn’t crack some liquored-up redneck skulls and rack up a high-body count).
The filmmakers have switched the location from a roughneck Jasper, Missouri honkytonk, the Double Deuce, to a coastal paradise in the Florida Keys, a fictional place called Glass Key Island.
The open-air beach spot, owned by Jessica Williams (of “Shrinking”), is generically called “Road House,” and its claim to fame is that Hemingway drank there. OK…
In his new role as a highly paid bar bouncer, Elwood’s lean mean fighting machine takes on a lot of low-life high-wattage testosterone, and we watch big sweaty guys covered in tattoos mess with each other.
They unwisely pick fights with Dalton, who tries to control a deep well of rage. But like Swayze, he’s incorruptible and far smarter than the goons he’s tasked with keeping in line.
Co-screenwriters Anthony Bagarozzi and Chuck Mondry plus R. Lance Hill, whose name appeared on the first one as David Lee Henry, responsible for the story and screenplay with Hilary Henkin, have collaborated on a thin, uneven story with extremely ridiculous dialogue. Maybe they used AI because that script is soulless.
Like the original, it takes itself far too seriously – and should just have some fun with the over-the-top melodrama. Most surprisingly, it is directed by Doug Liman, who has helmed several crowd-pleasing films, like “Swingers,” “The Bourne Identity” and “Edge of Tomorrow.” Where is the verve?
The unremarkable cast brings very little personality to this tale and play mostly unlikable characters. In an off-putting opening, Post Malone, the singer, plays a hulking guy who isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, and later, as a major big deal, Irish professional boxer Conor McGregor has a protracted fight, but his acting skills are severely limited.
The supporting cast providing the story’s conflicts are no match for the original – love interest Kelly Lynch had electric chemistry with Swayze while Melchior isn’t given much to do in this second go-round.
Ben Gazzara’s slimy crime lord was a far superior villain than Billy Magnussen’s hammy, hard-to-believe slick corporate manipulator.
Furniture and glass break, bodies break, and the whole metaphysical dilemma about people’s purpose on earth is given a once-over. Eyes glare, fists fly, and highly choreographed fights ensue – although pointlessly heavily CGI’d in the remake.
Whatever floats your boat, but this floundering “Road House” doesn’t bring anything new to the genre. It seems to be just a whole lotta empty noise.
